Some people think that Australia and South Africa are practically identical, except for the latter’s issues with crime, poor sports performances and unemployment figures. During a lengthy stay in Australia we discovered that there are in fact more differences than similarities, some of which are evident from the following Aussie 'quirks'...

We’re not at liberty…
"Rules are made to be broken" is probably not a phrase you’ll ever hear uttered in Australia. Rules are what keep the foreigners from your counter, the two kilograms of excess baggage from the cargo hold and any dodgy looking seed, straw hat or splinter of wood from getting past the sniffer beagles at the airport. Some unfortunate travelers have even been "rule-bound" to surrender their footwear at the airport because it touched "African" soil.

Die Tall Poppy, die
Travel guides and Australians themselves are quick to make reference to the Tall Poppy Syndrome that exists Down Under. This basically means that is you come from a deprived background marked by misfortunes such as obesity, dependencies, vagrancy or the like, society will not permit you to rise above your station and emerge as 'better' than your fellow Australian, and will find not so subtle ways to cut you down to size. Celebrities such as Our Nicole and Kylie are exempt but Russell, for one, is long overdue for some pruning and has headed for New Zealand to escape the shears.

Fair Dinkum Democracy
We arrived in Australia in the midst of the national elections. Peaceful protests showed society’s disapproval for among other things, the relationship between John Howard and Dubbya and the Aussie troops in Iraq. Yet Howard was re-elected as Prime Minister in a landslide victory. Even stranger was that not one Australian we spoke to admitted to voting for him. This does not point to conspiracy, mind you. Further discussion showed that the intention to elect a new leader was there but when it came to making the mark, it is better to go with what ya know.

Say what??
Australians speak a special dialect of English, called Strine. When spoken in its purest form, it involves mumbling, renaming day-to-day objects, introducing a leaping lilt at the end of every sentence and restructuring words to end in –o or –ie. An example: "That bloke Dicko pulled on his stubbies and Blunnies, hopped in his ute and headed for Brissie so he’d be there in time to open his Sheila’s Chrissie pressies." Huh?!

Flies, darned flies
Although it is safe to do so, no-one need travel alone in Australia. Wherever you go, in most seasons, in the bush, at the sea, you will have a determined travel companion, fresh from the nearest spot of decay or excrement. Yup; it’s the common fly.

Those cork hats are not just for laughs, though they are seriously ineffective against the wrath of a kamikaze fly that will happily risk death if it can just spend a few moments up your nose or in your eye, sucking up whatever moisture it can find. Second prize is sticking to your back along with a few dozen cousins waiting for the chance to pounce should you dare open your mouth.

A Fair Go
A semi-Socialist mindset and the implications thereof aside, Australia is a pleasure to visit. Aussies are capable of laughing at themselves, and their nationwide commitment to physical activity is truly admirable.

Their cities are clean and efficient and despite their protests, public transport works well. They have the most cutely weird animals, and at least a handful of humane ways to put a kangaroo out of its misery when it’s been mowed down on a country road.

Be that as it may, this Souf Effrican still rates the R of SA tops!