If there’s any Saturday you want to be cheerfully wedged into your sofa with a healthy stock of beer and cholesterol, it’s this one: the Premiership comes to a grand conclusion, the Soweto derby offers Chiefs a chance at finishing in the top half of the table (Shaun Bartlett’s stopped answering my phone calls), and a win at Newlands could set the Stormers up for a home semifinal. So what will I be doing? Sitting on top of a mountain, sulking, with no cellphone reception. I think I have a temporary dose of manic depression.

Not that I have anyone else to blame: if I’d checked my sporting calendar properly, I’d have turned down a weekend hike up a hill somewhere in the Cederberg. But I didn’t, and so I’ll miss out on Wigan deciding the English champions, Swallows hopefully upsetting SuperSport, and most galling, a spot with my mate John Stamos in the Jameson’s box at Newlands, watching a side that in recent weeks has conjured up memories aplenty of 1999.

I watched most of the Stormers games that season, as Bob Skinstad led a side that included Corné Krige, Percy Montgomery, Robbie Fleck, Breyton Paulse, Selborne Boome and Cobus Visagie into the semifinals — and but for a last ditch pay dispute of the sort normally reserved for African teams at the football World Cup, might have gone on to win the title. Skinstad was pure genius, Krige owned the breakdown, Fleck was still quick enough to outpace Deon Kayser… the rugby was magical, and Cape Town surged from week to week on a 15-man high.

Nine years on — and a very different team — has the Cape entranced again, with a semifinal very much in grasp. An indifferent first few weeks hardly suggested that the Stormers would carry the South African flag this year, and for much of the season hopes rested firmly with the Sharks. But as they’ve stumbled (and Steyn and Pienaar have cried out for a consistent run in the same position), so the Stormers have gathered momentum, and the Waratahs will arrive to a full house in Cape Town on Saturday night.

When Rassie Erasmus was poached from Bloemfontein, feelings very mixed in the Cape — his obvious passion for the game and tactical acumen, offset by his bizarre disco lights approach from the roof of Vodacom Park, and a couple of key defeats that suggested his coaching education still had a way to go. One Super 14 campaign in his new home later, and any questions are gone. A team with a few stars, a lot of hardworking players, and an abundance of talent waiting to be properly tapped, found a catalyst for expression in the coach, and Rassie Erasmus has produced what is turning into a rather special rugby team.

That Schalk Burger, Brian Mujati and Jean de Villiers shone is hardly surprising; similarly, the emergence of Peter Grant has a genuine Springbok contender was expected from a very classy flyhalf. Where Erasmus has made a significant difference is in reviving careers of forgotten Springboks, and giving a new lease of life to players who wouldn’t have thought themselves as national prospects at the start of the season. Schalk Brits, Conrad Jantjies, Luke Watson, and in particular Gcobani Bobo, rescued from the relative wastelands of the Sevens circuit and reborn as one half of a dynamic centre partnership. Their success is Erasmus’s success, and the Stormers are flying because of it.

The decline of the Bulls has been painful, wherever you are in South Africa; the Sharks’ recent struggles have been disheartening after their start to the Super 14 (and local derby lore suggests they’re in for a torrid time against the Cheetahs this weekend); and watching the Lions, as so often is the case, has all the delight of feeding your hand through a meat grinder. But the Stormers have brought a spark of promise to the South African rugby landscape, one that will spill over into the international season. A win over the Waratahs is still crucial, though — and if the roar from Newlands carries all the way to the top of a mountain in the Cederberg on Saturday night, I’ll book my spot in the box for a home semifinal.

  • Plenty of mail still coming through about Monday’s interviews with Bakkies, with a number of people wondering if it was genuine. The art of the spoof has limited currency in South Africa, it would appear… of all the responses, though, two stand out: Phil Kearns mentioning the column — and Bakkies playing the cello — on Wrap From Down Under, Australia’s answer to Boots and All; and most priceless of all, the Bull’s media liaison calling through to the offices yesterday to verify whether or not I had actually interviewed Bakkies. Apparently a number of members of the Pretoria media had been phoning him to confirm quotes. I think that’s made my year.

  • If you thought Wednesday’s build-up to the Pinelands hockey derby was a little over the top, you’ll be feeling a little sheepish as you read this. With the Mighty Dodos 2-0 down, Mad Chris Rayner on the verge of being sent off after informing the opposition’s star Portuguese midfielder that “I’ll shove my fist down your throat, and then I’m calling immigration” (Mad Chris has a definite future as a politician…), and just ten minutes left, the Dodos were dead and buried…

    …until Mad Chris redeemed himself with the miss-hit of the season, bearded Zimbabwean Mike Van Beuningen levelled the game, and as the Scarlet Rodents wilted under a volley of verbal abuse, Indiana Garrick scored a famous winner three minutes from time. At one o’clock the next morning the Dodos were still in the clubhouse celebrating; 2008 won’t see another comeback like that.

  • Contact Dan at dan@metropolis.co.za

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