As the winds of political change sweep through South Africa, Jacob Zuma speaks exclusively to sport.iafrica.com's Contributing Editor Dan Nicholl about the current sporting landscape...

Dan: Let's start by talking about golf, Jacob — I believe you're taking up the game?

Jacob: I am considering it, yes. I've only played once before, and I shot 67, so I think I'm a bit of a natural.

Dan: You shot 67 in your very first round of golf? Over 18 holes? That's incredible! Who were you playing with?

Jacob: It was me, Schabir, Chippy and Mo. Those Shaik brothers are good golfers. They actually filled the card out for me beforehand, which made things a lot simpler. And Julius Malema was caddying for me, and was very good at finding my ball in the rough for the free drops you get if you miss the fairway. I quite like golf.

Dan: That makes things a lot clearer... What do you like best about golf?

Jacob: I think we all like different things. Thabo liked the fact that there are courses all over the world, so you can travel to play them. Manto's very fond of the 19th hole, and a relaxing drink after the round. Me? Call me a simple man, Dan, but I love the showers afterwards. A long, hot shower — there's just something about it that makes you feel healthier.

Dan: Indeed. I guess Thabo will be able to play a lot more golf now?

Jacob: Correct. I haven't made it official yet, but I'm looking at a couple of options for Thabo, to reward him for his contribution to South Africa, allow him to play plenty of golf, and give him the chance to keep his Voyager Lifetime Platinum status. I'm going to make him an ambassador, possibly to Sudan, but more probably to Iraq.

Dan: Iraq? There's a treat. Do they have a golf course there?

Jacob: Do they have a golf course there... Honestly, Dan — Royal Baghdad is one of the finest courses in the Middle East! Granted, the greens and the fairways aren't great, but you'll never forget the bunkers!

Dan: Lucky Thabo then, I guess. What other sports to you take an interest in?

Jacob: Well, Bafana Bafana are rubbish, let's be honest, even with a Zuma in the team. And that could be embarrassing — I'm hosting a large party of old clients from Thint at the World Cup, and I hope I don't get embarrassed. The Springboks are great, and I like them; not as much as Nkosozana, though, who's got a mad crush on Gurthro Steenkamp. And cricket's okay, although that five-day stuff just goes on and on and on.

Dan: Do you play much sport, other than golf?

Jacob: A fair bit. I was captain of the parliamentary synchronized swimming squad for a couple of years — myself, Ngconde, Mangosotho and Johnny de Lange made for a pretty stellar quartet. Now it's squash a couple of times a week, and the occasional game of touch rugby.

Dan: Impressive... So you keep up to date with sports, then?

Jacob: I do, Dan. Websites, newspapers, magazines. Especially magazines. That Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is my year's highlight. I'm trying to get a similar uniform in for parliament. Can you imagine Helen Zille in high heels and a two piece? You wouldn't see any MP absenteeism then, I guarantee!

(Jacob Zuma promptly broke into an enthusiastic rendition of 'Awuleth' Umshini Wami', thus bringing the interview to close. Thabo Mbeki's appointment as High Commisioner to Iraq has yet to be officially confirmed.)

  • Contact Dan at dan@metropolis.co.za

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