All roads lead to Colesberg. At least that’s what we were told when we asked what the significance of the Karoo town is when we rolled in with two of the most iconic saloons in modern history.

“Don’t you know? Colesberg is the centre of South Africa.” That’s what Bianca, our B&B owner said to us with a sort of condescending tone. “See that koppie there? That’s Toverberg. It’s the landmark the Voortrekkers watched for days as they approached this frontier from all angles back in the day.”

How ironic. Considering this was to be the meeting place for my colleagues Stuart and Ciaran with the RS 4 as they approached from Jo'burg, and me with BMW’s much anticipated new M3 on my way up from the Cape. “What are you guys doing here with those cars?” Bianca asked us as we checked in for our overnight. It was our turn to adopt the condescending attitude.

“Don’t you know? That’s the new BMW M3. It was just launched this week. And that’s an Audi RS 4.” I honestly didn’t expect her to know the importance of our project, nor anybody else who inhabits the sleepy little dorp while we snapped photos at dusk on an exceptionally quiet Sunday evening.

Two archrivals in all their glory

Our project was this: to experience the two archrivals in all their glory, and report on each car’s characteristics. It’s a venture that’s become quite common at this magazine. We call them shootouts. But considering the stature of the two subjects in this story, we had to take the procedure a little further. Almost 3000 kilometres further in fact. That’s roughly the distance we travelled in total with the BMW and Audi you see here. We needed to experience every intricacy of the two cars before we could accurately score them. A simple jaunt around Jozi wouldn’t suffice in this case.

M3 versus RS 4 is the battle royale of 2007. This is the main event. It’s what everyone is talking about at the moment, and will be for some time to come. It’s an honour to be the man responsible for the words you’re reading now. This is why so many hours and kilometres were needed behind the wheels.

Yours truly managed to steal the new M3 straight from its launch in Cape Town for the great trek. I toyed with every button, knob, switch, dial and setting the car offers over the 750-odd kilos it took to meet my compatriots in Colesberg. Not to mention just plain driving, and learning what the new hot rod’s all about. And I toyed the same with the Audi over the 650 odd kays back to Jo’burg. The entire procedure was to culminate at SA’s premier racing circuit Kyalami for a final wrap concerning lap times. Sounds extravagant for a simple shootout, but I assure you it was all completely necessary to judge these test subjects.

So what’s the verdict? Well it’s not going to be that easy. Saying that one of these cars is just plain better than the other would be nothing short of moronic. You can probably predict what I’m going to say next. It’s like choosing between blondes and brunettes. Or to be more specific, Cindy Crawford and Claudia Schiffer. With cars like these, it’s all about personal preference.

Supermodels

I mean it when I say that the RS 4 and the M3 are as perfect as this calibre of supermodel. But even supermodels are flawed in some way when you really get down to it. I’m willing to bet that if you spent enough time with Cindy you’d discover she’s got morning breath, and if you spent every waking moment with Claudia you’d surely catch her picking her nose from time to time.

There’s a lot of blacktop between Cape Town and Colesberg. Likewise between Colesberg and Johannesburg. I can now say I know the roads almost as intimately as I know the RS 4 and new M3. I also know a bit more about their respective morning breaths and bad habits. Not that I intended to jump straight into the flaws of two of the most popular cars in the world, but it is perhaps the only way to distinguish between them.

Let’s start with the M3. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t read some overseas critiques of the new Bimmer. Look around, it’s everywhere at the moment. If you haven’t seen it on any magazine covers or in the newspapers in the past month, you’re going blind. But I strongly disagree with the general consensus of the brutish BMW. Where others are saying the newest generation M3 may be in fact too refined, I say it could have spent a few more weeks at the Bavarian refinery.

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