There was no question that once BMW let us get our grubby paws on the new 335i Sedan, we would have to see how it stacks up against the competition. But therein lies the problem. What to do? The 335i Sedan doesn’t really have any natural enemies does it? Not because it’s too big like an elephant or too aggressive like a lion, but because it’s sly and sneaky like a shark.

Think about it. This latest saloon from Bavaria uses a couple of squeaky snails strapped to the exhaust manifold of its straight six engine to produce its power. And a lot of power too. Despite the lack of an ‘M’ badge on this car, it still makes more torque and slightly fewer kilowatts than the current M3. Where would we find something to rival that?

But that’s why we get paid to do what we do. A scratch of the old noggin and a squint of the eyes, and there we have it. The new 6.0-litre Lumina and a car that many of us have forgotten about. Swept under the carpet since Audi unveiled the infamous RS4. The S4! Sure they’ve each got an additional two pots in a vee formation, and certainly aren’t force fed, but power outputs are close enough and more importantly — they’ve all got four doors. Target markets are spot on too. Suddenly we’ve got a fight on our hands.

Levelling the field

Okay, you caught us. The big Chevrolet drills the Bimmer and Audi in the power department so that’s not really a fair fight, but when you take into account that it costs a good chunk less than its adversaries in this shootout, it all seems to even out a little. That’s how we see it anyway. If you don’t agree, well, then I’ll see you at the next robot. I’ll even toss a couple of hundred rand notes out the window while we dice. You’ll probably need them.

Unfortunately for the S4, the pricing category is where it loses a lot of ground. The launch of the RS4 was a bad turn of events for the slightly subdued version of Audi’s rocket ship. Problem being — at 562K for an S4, the RS4 is just too enticing at only 76 grand more. A fact that’s easily proven when driving the streets of South Africa. An RS4 sighting on the daily trek to work is not uncommon, while an ordinary S4 is lesser spotted these days. I know what I’d choose if I had the bucks. Even if I could only afford an S4, I’d make a plan to come up with the extra cash for the upgrade.

The BMW splits pricing right down the middle. For R415 000, you’re getting a hell of a lot of car. Some may say this is outrageous for a 3-Series but they must have another look at the spec sheets and features list. I may be a bit of a gearhead, but for that money I’d kit the 335 out with Schnitzer wheels and exhaust and still have enough left over to go on holiday. Versus the Audi that is. Ultimately, the Chevy wins the bang for the buck challenge hands down. Finished and klaar.

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