Split decision

An awful lot has been said about this new little niche. It is, they say, another new performance motoring zone that's going to satisfy middling supercar drivers like never before. Who are we to argue? Except that this isn't really a new market segment after all...

See, while the new Porsche Cayman S and BMW Z4 M Coupé may indeed bring newfound sophistication, Teutonic perfection, service plans, back-up and the rest to the party, the concept of a monstrously powerful little driver's coupé isn't exactly new. In fact it's been around for many years and some specialist carmakers have become quite good at this game over the years...

Introducing the TVR Sagaris...

No, this isn't the product of some uber-efficient south German factory pumping out perfect little droids that look like the best weekend-warriors money can buy and still operate with seismic efficiency and reliability. Sagaris is the real thing — it's a big-balls fire-breathing street-fighting fibre-bodied monster that emanates from a dirty little factory in the back streets of Blackpool, England; it's a no-frills performer built to drive flat out and do little else. It has no manners, it's rude and nasty.

Not much difference — on paper

And it is exactly what the Porsche and the BMW are trying to be, but they can't because they are just too Miss Prissy. On paper, there isn't much to differentiate these three. OK, the Porsche is mid-engined. So what? It's still one of the best handling cars we've ever driven and its lost space isn't made up by either of its rivals here — they're just two-seaters too.

All three possess 24-valve six-cylinder engines — the BMW and the TVR being DOHC inline-six units and the Porsche has its typical quad-cam boxer-six, and all sport manual 'boxes — five-speed in the Pom, six in the Hun. They certainly look similar at first glance, they don't sound all that different and they certainly promise pure driving passion.

But they are all very honest in their own intention and as such, totally diverse to drive...

How they look

But let's start with how they look. I've never liked the Z4 in drop-top incarnation — it looks like someone smacked it in its face and then broke its back — especially with the hood down. This one however, you cannot take the roof off and those fastback looks go a long way to solve perhaps BMW's biggest Bangle styling bungle this side of seven.

Not even M could undo the evils of this 'flame surfaced' contradiction. It could be flame grilled for all I care, but then most folk won't buy this thing for its looks. Still, just imagine what would happen if BMW one day discovered style...?

Z4's styling lets the cutesy Porsche off the hook. Some of us like Cayman's style, some of us don't — its one of those cars. An evolution on that perennial Porsche theme, at least it's broken the mould in lots of places and thanks perhaps to its Bavarian pal here, we reckon the little Porsche is starting to grow on us. It certainly has some exciting angles, but others are a bit too plain. Still, it's a Porsche.

The TVR however, is a horse of another colour. Show me any single aspect of this car that isn't completely and diabolically thrilling and I'll give you a fiver. From its porcupine-like air-grabbing arrangement in the grille to that adjustable flap ahead the engine, through shark gill vent shapes above the front wheels to the see-through Perspex spoiler and on to that ridiculous exhaust poking out behind each rear wheel, someone really put some thought into this thing's looks. It makes an impression that stops the traffic.

Now if BMW and Porsche really wanted to make such a big impression with Cayman and M coop, then why didn't they go mad like TVR did...?

There's a good reason — they need to sell their cars by the tens of thousands, while TVR is a very limited production machine that appeals to a tiny minority. Apparently. Everyone that saw it said wow — and if it had a Porsche or a BMW badge on it, I bet that they'd be even more impressed. I may be in that minority, but I reckon that if the others took the gap with wild looks, they'd sell even more cars...

But what's inside?

Getting into the Sagaris is a problem — even Houdini would battle to squeeze into this thing — it's just too low and the door doesn't open quite wide enough. Still, the BMW isn't much better, although Porsche understands that less agile folk will want to drive its cars and it's made it possible for them to get into its Cayman a little easier...

Inside is another set of conundrums. It seems one of BMW's engineers used a skate board he failed to build for his son and grafted it onto the dash and cobbled some switches, dials and vents to it. But the Z4 does possess an easy, simple and understandable logic in there with a minimum of switches and the like. Makes me wonder why they ever bothered with iDrive on other models... Luckily someone else designed the seating position — probably the same team that did the chassis. It's typically BMW M sorted...

The Porsche is just as brilliant to sit in, hold the wheel and touch the pedals, and its cabin is easy enough to understand, although it has a rather dizzying number of switches and buttons to contend with. But you know you are in a Porsche — there's something quite magic about a Porsche cockpit...

The TVR however, is as diabolical inside as it is out. Its pedals look like three accelerators and it seems someone at TVR must have stolen whatever they make numbers or figures with — there are hardly any, and those that are there are missing most of their digits.

Sagaris mostly has its own special effect switchgear plus two or three items out of that seemingly never-ending Ford Parts bin. It's Spartan, simple and interesting — and very different too...

Let's get on with it

But we're here to drive these cars, so let's cut the crap and get on with it... The BMW's brilliant 252kW (at 7900rpm) 365Nm inline-six is one engine that never fails to amaze me — and I'm delighted that it will continue for a long, long time in cars like this, long after it's replaced by a V8 in the next M3. This simply astounding mill is the most specifically powerful and torquey (per capacity) of the lot here and remains my favourite of this trio.

Its zinging, shouting, free-revving nature, awesome power and amazing tractability come to the fore in the agile M Coupé — who cares how badly they buggered the styling, the engine alone is enough to overcome that and then some...

Although lacking in ultimate punch and grunt, Porsche's lovely boxer-six has evolved to a point of water-cooled vario-cam perfection, but it is found asking in this company. The Porsche however has another ace up its sleeve we will come to presently.

Last and by no means least the Sagaris. The brawniest car here — not to mention the lightest — the TVR 4.0-litre pumps 300kW and 420Nm to easily wrest the engine laurels. Fire Sagaris up and you're greeted with a purposeful cacophony of noise. Snick it into gear and figure out those pedals and it thrusts you along — big beefy bursts of power between gear changes has you travelling extremely quickly in an insanely short timeframe. Sagaris matches some big hitters in performance - its sub-five-second 0-100, 13.2 quarter-mile at 181km/h and 300km/h top end put it in a league alone in this company, everywhere except in fuel economy and bottom end pulling ability.