ONE scratch on MY car and I WILL KILL YOU! Softly spoken, the tone reverberates through the ceiling as Editor Kilfoil blesses me with his festive wishes.

The office is about to close for our annual year-end break and I've managed to worm my way into the driver's seat of our long term Cooper S for the holidays, mainly because I have such a long journey on my agenda.

It starts at dusk on a warm Saturday morning, as I leave Jo'burg for the sunrise still some 950 km from my first port of call, East London. The first two thirds of the journey sees flat and rather unchanging scenery with roads to match, and to make things worse, there's an endless stream of holiday traffic seemingly determined to halt my progress.

But as I drop a gear and plant the pedal, the Mini's sweet sounding supercharger winds into action, catapulting the gray and white missile past slower traffic (mostly everything) in an instant. As the long straights give way to mountain passes and twisty sections later on, I take full head of the Mini's sweet drone and communicative steering, making the destination less of a climax than it's ever been.

I'm now more convinced than ever that the Cooper S is a lot more than a simple poser mobile. Relative to its performance potential it offers the most entertaining driving experience this side of a true sports car. But that doesn't eliminate the possibility of a good vanity cruise once in a while, or every day.

One thing about East London is the lack of glamorous machinery adorning the streets, which explains why the Mini garnered even more points and waves, dropped jaws and attempted wave-downs than it ever has.

The party eventually moved to Durban, a move that necessitated cramming two of my mates and their luggage into the 'Coopaa' (as it became known) and heading across the wild Transkei. But the Mini's pint-sized boot ensured that some of the luggage overflowed into the back seat. What's more, the poor sod with the short straw (not a tiny bloke) didn't find the Mini's lack of rear leg room much of a joke after the six hour journey, even if the rear seat was snug enough.

But driving through the untamed land was less stressful than imagined, the responsive mill darting us through the chaos and the huge brake discs saving us from an engine-block-roasted goat dinner on more than one occasion.

As much as the Mini has provided smiles by the mile for everyone whose driven it during our long term evaluation, a few niggles have caused us to question the quality of a car that essentially costs R245 000 with the options fitted.

One of the rear grab handles, for instance, wound its way loose (for the third time) and the front half of the leather handbrake boot wants nothing to do with the console anymore. The passenger window has once again given up the ghost and the airbag light has decided that it's going to stay on come hell or high water.

Although none of these are major faults, there's the overall feeling that the build quality could be better in some places. But, unfortunately for us automotive critics (and fortunately for Mini and BMW), the Cooper S has the charm to snake its way out of almost any situation.

Owning a Mini isn't only about the driving experience though. Mini Accessories offer everything from kids' toys to Mini clothing for the ultimate Mini experience. The Baby Racer pictured here costs just R387 940 and is available from your nearest Mini dealer...

Logbook:
List price on arrival:	R186 900 (R228 025 with options)
List price now:	R207 900 (R247 825 with options)
Options:	Metallic paint (R1575)
	Xenon lights (R5850)
	CD Front loader (R1200 but now standard)
	On-board computer (R1650)
	Panoramic sunroof (R6950)
	17-inch alloy wheels (R5850)
	Leather sports seats (R8700)
	DSC III (R4500)
	Matching floor mats (R550)
	Interior light package (R850)
	Child seat ISOfix (R450)
	Seat Heating (R3000)
Odometer on arrival:	4263km
Odometer now:	20174km
Fuel consumed:	1757 litres
Oil consumed:	Nil
Average fuel consumption:	11.04 litres per 100km
Faults since arrival:	Faulty digital clock
	Passenger window toggle switch (twice)
	Left rear grab handle (three times)
	Handbrake boot
	Airbag warning light