You pretty much know what you're going to get with 'Mamma Mia!' — good actors singing Abba songs (badly), while they dance their way through a ridiculous plot that can only be described as outrageously camp.

Yes, yes, I know, I had you at the Abba songs.

Needless to say, you should avoid this film at all costs if you are (a) not a fan of 70s Swedish pop (b) homophobic (c) not a fan of musicals (or for that matter, a serious fan of musicals) and (d) generally grumpy.

Not that it really matters (the story being completely inconsequential), but here is a detailed account of the plot.

Young Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is about to get married and wants her father to be at the wedding. Unfortunately, she doesn't know who he is. Luckily she happens across her mother's 20-year-old diary and discovers that he could be one of three men. So, she invites all three.

The three extraordinarily obliging men, Sam (Pierce Brosnan), Harry (Colin Firth) and Bill (Stellan Skarsgard), trek out to a tiny Greek island in the belief that they have been invited by a woman they haven't seen in 20 years. Donna (Meryl Streep), the woman in question, unaware of her daughter's paternity quest is horrified to discover the men at her hotel. Luckily her two best-friends-for-life Rosie (Julie Walters) and Tanya (Christine Baranski) are there to pep up her mood with a few song-and-dance routines.

Well, I did warn you, it's not about the plot.

It is about Meryl Streep writhing around on a rooftop as she sings 'Mamma Mia', Pierce Brosnan doing his best (and failing) at a romantic duet, Julie Walters gyrating to 'Take A Chance on Me' and Christine Baranski seducing a beach full of young men with 'Does Your Mother Know'. Oh yes, and then there's Colin Firth in a garishly sparkly jumpsuit. You will never be the same again.

I laughed. A lot. My mother cried (inexplicably). And I suspect that had the mood been right (perhaps involving a few alcoholic beverages) I might have jumped up and started singing and dancing in the aisle. But hey, I'm an Abba fan.