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Today, 07 September 2008

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'Alien Versus Predator' ('AvP') sees two of Sci-Fi’s most fearsome beings battle in a highly anticipated confrontation of epic proportions, or at least that’s what movie moguls would have us believe. AvP turns out to be nothing more than a sad attempt at trying to produce a spin-off of two highly successful franchises which considering the hype the movie has had is nothing short of blatant misleading.

The plot follows a group of researchers whom while floundering about in the Antarctic tundra discover an ancient Aztec *temple which was supposedly built thousands of years ago when the Antarctic was hospitable. The hapless expedition soon discovers that the temple is home to Aliens whom are using it as their nesting grounds. The Predators, a race of honourable hunters, are thrown into the mix as they are headed to earth to battle with their long time acid-dripping enemies for good.

What ensues is the mindless slaughter of the humans, with the exception of the stereotypical key characters (the suave hero/heroine, the gutless comedian and the shifty corporate weasel), and a few bitterly disappointing ‘action’ sequences involving the two alien species being pitted against each other.

The movie soon faces the first in a series of stumbling blocks as its suspense is removed by a character practically giving away the entire storyline within the space of a few minutes.

The action is few and far between save maybe for the last half hour. As for the climactic battles between the two species every Sci-Fi fan boy has been waiting with much anticipation to see, the sequences turn into nothing more than overly excessive recycled Matrix ‘bullet time’ effects.

All the movie amounts to is pubescent, superficial eye candy for the masses.

Though it must be said that movies such as 'AvP' comes from a long line of failures such as the disappointing ‘Freddy Vs. Jason’ to the bitter excuse for a movie, ‘King Kong Vs. Godzilla’.

'AVP' has no redeeming qualities to speak of, while the use of the Alien and Predator for this worthless title is little more than a shameless marketing gimmick. In short the movie tagline sums it all up: "Whoever wins (Movie producers) we (The audience) lose."

* The temple was supposedly built by humans when Antarctica was warm yet Antarctica has been covered with ice since the Pliocene era about five million years ago, well before the emergence of the first Homo sapiens.