Now Christina's idea was good, but — don't be startled! — not all the notions that pop into celebrities' heads are smart ones. Take the Olsen twins' budding book plans. Mary-Kate and Ashley are collaborating to bring you, oh lucky reader, a tome entitled 'Influence', which will be about their, um, fashion influences.

Basically, it's a chance to make a coffee-table book full of nice fashion pictures, with a few choice Olsen comments added, and then flog the thing for some insane amount of money — so the two 21-year-olds can become rich enough to take over the world.

Is my excitement palpable?

I'd certainly be pretty excited to learn that Pairs Hilton had had a coherent thought — but, as of now, she's yet to impart anything but idiocy. Her latest mental flailing? A seemingly complete ignorance as to how little animals come into this world.

You see, people have been asking — isn't it lousy to keep 17 pets when you're a jet-setting socialite who's seldom home? Isn't 17 just too many for any one pet-owner?

Hang on, says Paris — there's a simple explanation for all the animals. She's not unkind or anything; the real reason she has 17 pets is that "They keep having babies and I feel bad to give them away because I feel like, if I had a baby and someone gave it away it would be mean."

Wow. And I'll say it again: Wow. I don't think there's anything else I can say.

Staying on the dumbass wagon — we turn now to Kid Rock. Mr. Rock (not to be confused with The Rock) has just plead not guilty to a charge of battery. The charge, regular readers may recall, arose from an incident last year when Kid got into a fight in a waffle house. And, honestly, I think that's enough said about that.

I'm not going to say all that much about this next thing, either — but I do think it's fairly noteworthy, especially since it involves Steve-O still being alive.

Steve-O is one of the stars of the 'Jackass' series and movies, whose most striking outing was, I think, getting up close and personal with crocodiles while he had dead chickens strapped to himself.

Frankly, I find it astonishing that Steve-O is still with us. I imagine the Los Angeles Police Department and his neighbours aren't especially thrilled about that, though, since he just started smashing holes in the wall of his flat. A neighbour performed a citizen's arrest and kept a hold on Steve-O till the LAPD got there.

Plenty of stars; hopefully fewer babies — in next week's Bitch and Famous!