Right, as promised – here's all the latest LaLa-Land baby news. It's a fiesta of little ones! And they're all going to grow up nuts with parents like these…

J.Lo and Marc Anthony's twins now have names — Emme and Max — and a crazy-sounding nursery. According to a source, Jennifer Lopez has gone all out to give these babies the best: "She had the nursery painted a beautiful aquamarine and light blue — colours which are supposed to have intelligence boosting properties…"

So far, so good.

"She has employed a professional baby masseuse to come in once or twice a week and is also super paranoid about hygiene."

Sounds a little over-indulgent, but fair enough.

Thing is, apparently, "The twins' wing is totally sterile and all flowers and presents are stored in a separate room, so they don't contaminate the babies' area. It may sound excessive but she's only got her kids' best interests at heart and wants to give them the start in life she never had."

I was under the impression that living in a totally sterile environment kind of, like, you know, led to developing no antibodies to anything and so getting sick way more often…

Still, it is worth being reasonably cautious when it comes to offspring. For starters, there's that crucial no-drinking-while-you're-pregnant thing. And while Nicole Kidman has not been drinking — particularly not backstage at the Oscars, in full view of the world's entertainment press — that doesn't mean much to the tabloids when there's a story to be made up.

Columnist Cindy Adams claimed that Kidman had been drinking at the Academy Awards, prompting an unusually frank and more than a little amusing reply from Nicole's publicist. Sure the media have the power to ruin the star's lives sometimes; but it's best not to forget that a celebrity publicist can ruin your life too if you do enough to piss her off…

"Nicole Kidman most certainly did not drink white wine or any other alcoholic beverage backstage," says the Kidman flicker. "She had water and lemon zinger tea. That's it. I know; I was there with her." Standard press release stuff thus far…

TRIXY HONORÉ
(pronounced On-or-ay) delights in the candyfloss vacuousness of celebrity gossip. Living in New York City, Trixy keeps an eye out for the rich and famous of the Big Apple as she hunts for great vintage clothing and tries to balance the joys of both style and substance. She is a firm believer in nice manners, wrist-length gloves and the greatness of television.

Got something to say about Bitch and Famous? Email her!
But Cindy obviously went one bridge too far for this publicist: "I cannot remember the last time that Cindy Adams got anything right. She's an idiot – and you can quote me."

You can quote Katie Holmes' spokesperson, too: "She's not pregnant." No siblings for Suri just yet, folks.

And, really, I have no idea why people are still harping on this Katie's-pregnant idea, when the woman is looking like a rake lately. Is it perhaps that the full horror the celeb world's most unexpected hook-up ever still just hasn't worn off? I think it's pretty reasonable to have a remaining awful fascination with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, after the, well, special way Tom first introduced us to their romance.

Ok, that's more than enough wee celebs for one week. What we need now is… naked fighting!

Yes, Christina Ricci is adamant that the Oscars should have recognized Viggo Mortensen's special work in 'Eastern Promises' better than it did. Says Ricci: "This year there was a category missing, I am so glad that Daniel Day-Lewis won. I think he is amazing. But Viggo did some naked fighting. It's insane."

"There's blood and fighting and it goes on for five minutes... He deserves an award simply for the naked fighting." Hear, hear!

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