It's also not funny when you consider that Scientology has been linked to forced abortions, suicides, child abuse, homophobia, human rights abuses like torture and mind control, as well as racism.

Most of the evidence for these claims come from sworn affidavits by various ex-Scientologists (claims which are of course dismissed by practising Scientologists as attempts to defame the church by begrudged converts). Mary Tabayoyon (the wife of Andre, a Vietnam veteran, who used to be in charge of security at the extremely secretive and well-guarded base near Hemet, in the California desert) was once a member of the Sea Organisation.

In a sworn affidavit in the US District Court of California on April 4, 1994 she said: "While at the base, I knew of several instances of staff getting pregnant and being coerced to get an abortion. Some instances were relayed to me by the victims themselves and others were relayed to me by another... Some of these women went through extensive pressure methods to convince them to have an abortion... I myself got pregnant in 1993 and gave up my child due to my greatly misguided obligation and dedication to the Sea Org."

In November 1996, in a landmark ruling, the Californian Court of Appeal agreed that the the techniques of Scientology constitute "brain-washing" and "thought- reform" similar to that practised by the Chinese and North Koreans against American prisisoners of war.

L Ron Hubbard was a big fan of HF Verwoerd and even wrote to him in a letter to congratulate him on the forced removals in 1960: "Having viewed slum clearance projects in most major cities of the world may I state that you have conceived and created in the Johannesburg townships what is probably the most impressive and adequate resettlement activity in existence."

One of the most well-known cases of human rights abuses in Scientology is that of Lisa McPherson, who was on staff at Scientology at Clearwater, Florida when she died in December 1995 from a blood clot brought on by severe dehydration and "bed rest".

Scientology refused to answer their questions about the death, including why Lisa's body was covered in insect bites and bruises. The homicide investigation by Clearwater police has also had no co-operation from Scientology members, and many of the files documenting her last few days (Scientology staff checked her out of a psychiatric hospital after she suffered a mental breakdown) have mysteriously disappeared.

According to her family, Lisa may have been put on the Introspection Rundown, a period of imprisonment for Scientology staff members who go psychotic.

Though celebs have given Scientology (which is so vehemently opposed to modern psychiatry for the reason that it markets itself as an alternative) all the glory for curing addictions, relationship problems and bringing about personal and material success, most of these celebs have been vehemently shielded from the group's darker sides.

Celebs are, after all, the ultimate PR weapon in today's entertainment-obsessed world – the more pure their converts appear, the more genuine their appeal to the masses — and, more importantly, the more truer to reality Scientology becomes.

Scientology in the movies

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